Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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