What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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