his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
