drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
