I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
