I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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