He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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