Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
