it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
