Are we in a gay sports bar?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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