Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
