Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
