8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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