Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
