I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize