hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
