True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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