Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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