I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
