I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
