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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just invented taco cereal.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
