We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
birth control should be required to get into college
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
