How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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