I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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