I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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