watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
