How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
