so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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