The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
