NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
