We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
