like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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