its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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