why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
