Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize