...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
