No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
