Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
