I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
