I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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