ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
