You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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