I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
