His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
