Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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