The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize