ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
