So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
