Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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