Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
