she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
3 2 1 whiskey
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
