i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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