You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i drank out of a bidet.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
