i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
