Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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