Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize