Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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