Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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