Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize