You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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