you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
