she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
