Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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