Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
