well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
